Judge Dredd
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10 Remarkable Reasons Why Wakeboarding May Save Your Life
What comes to mind when you consider the extreme sport of wakeboarding? Gnarly young dudes and dudettes flying through the air holding onto a piece of string, screeching in delight/terror as they twist and turn a glorified ironing board attached to their feet?
Yes, me too! Of course the video replay will be accompanied by the obligatory thrash metal soundtrack! Stereotypes are us!
As “out there” and dangerous as this hobby/sport may seem, wakeboarding could in fact save your life! Here, in no particular order is a brief list of things you probably never considered about wakeboarding:-
1. You have been for a relaxing swim in the lake after a heavy lunch and start flailing around, clearly in a lot of trouble…how grateful you are to the passing wakeboard dude and his/her boat as they rescue you from impending doom. Life Saved! Although in fact the wakeboarding expert is more than a little annoyed at the “washy wake” you have created and explains that he is the one that should be making the deep water start.
2. Your previous ironing board caught fire and was destroyed along with all your underpants when you forgot to switch the iron off before work. You have a very important function to attend and all your shirts look as though they have just performed the mightiest of face plants! Fortunately, your next door neighbour is a wakeboarding fanatic and offers you his spare wakeboard for your emergency ironing session.
3. You and a friend have spent an afternoon at the local tennis club. Inexplicably, your partners rage at losing an important point has resulted in both tennis rackets looking like they failed to land a very ambitious monkey spin. Luckily the wakeboarding club is just next door and a brief chat with the supervisor later and you return with two wakeboards and continue your tennis match as if nothing was amiss.
4. An impromptu paintballing session has been arranged by your friends. When you arrive, there is no protective gear left. You start to panic but then realise you collected your wakeboarding neighbour from a championships the night before and he left his gear (including his brand new impact vest) in your car. Ten minutes later you return, ready for battle. Admittedly you look like Judge Dredd having a night on the town but you don’t care because you are invincible!
5. On arriving home from the paintballing session, you realise that your house keys are actually still in the house and you are hopelessly locked out! The same wakeboarding gear that saved you at the paintballing comes to the rescue again, because you have left an upstairs window open and you make a lasso from the Liquid Force wakeboard rope and climb up and swing into your open window!
6. It’s your wife’s birthday tomorrow and she is a huge fan of huge earrings but because of all the problems you have had this evening, you completely forgot about it! What can you do? A brain wave hits you and you call your neighbour who agrees to sell you two brand new Hyperlite wakeboards. You attach a bit of chain to one end of each and begin to pray that your wife doesn’t think they are just a bit too big!
7. At your wife’s birthday party, some boisterous but harmless play from your new wakeboarding friends leads to the table with all the desserts on being accidentally broken. You salvage most of the dessert but you have to ask your wife if she will lend you one of her new wakeboard earrings. She doesn’t want to give them up so readily but reluctantly agrees and hey presto you have your new dessert table!
8. The next morning your car won’t start and work is more than an hour away, there is no one around and you know you are on thin ice with your boss already. You do the only thing you can in this situation and use the power of your imagination to turn one of your wife’s wakeboard earrings into a futuristic hover board that will speed you to work in less than ten minutes, even allowing time for some of the sickest corked spins ever!
9. Once you have been fired for taking the day off work, you being to wonder how you will pay the bills, but you remember your wife’s Hyperlite’s could be worth more than $500 each! You breathe a sigh of relief, life saved!
10. Your interaction with all things wakeboard has actually aroused your interest a little, your wife has long since left you and you have become the loneliest person ever so you decide now is the right time to join the local wakeboarding club and make lots of new friends whilst learning a new sport! Life Saved!
About the Author
For lots more wonderful info about wakeboarding, why not ollie on over to Born Extreme.co.uk
Judge Dredd – I AM THE LAW
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